Like Ripples in the Water

White and minimal and yet it spoke to me like a story. It was with your mysterious ways and sly smile that caught my attention. There was something there, with your head on a pillow, seemingly sleeping your troubles away. And with your profound thoughts and creativity that shone brightly like the first time you opened your eyes on a beautiful morning, blinding but warm. I write this for you whom I loved and lost to someone you chose to be with the moment you met. And to the mistake that cost me you, I wonder if it was indeed my fault or was it him who 'stole' you from me. Regardless, I know you're happy now and like a pill I swallowed the bitter truth that you are in the arms of another. When C was Zee and Christmas wasn't merry, I called but you did not answer, it was then I shed a tear that created ripples in the water and that, as they say, was that.

It was a late night at the office. It was half past eight when I decided that evening to head home. I just came back from Galera with Vicky that weekend and I was inviting him to meet me for dinner but he refused. I got out of the building and to my surprise saw him walking casually with his usual I-pod-big-bag-cap-tattered-shirt-not-minding-anyone look. I called out three times but he obviously did not hear nor see me. I had to rush in front of him to catch his attention. He saw me and was equally surprised but in the glad-to-see-you sense. I felt there was something cold about him that night. I felt it. It was as if he did not want to see me. But persistent as I was I forced him to talk about 'us'. A topic he clearly avoided for so many days. It was then I found out that all the months of dating were flushed down the drain.

"So, did you go out with him?"
"Yes. I did last Sunday."
"And are you going to see him again?"
"We already did."

I knew that was it for me, two consecutive dates with another guy that instantly told me that I am officially out of the picture. I've known him for about 6 months to be mistaken. I was leaving for Jakarta in a couple of days and it brought me a sense of relief to be incommunicado for a few weeks. At that point I really did not want to speak or see him.

Weeks later I came back and knew that I had been replaced. Probably not by someone better but definitely with someone he was more compatible with him. I silenced my aching heart and urged it to beat for his happiness. And while it still hurt there was nothing left for me to do but watch from the side, look at the pictures and pray that someday I'd find me own. And when the ripples in the water subsided it became clear to me. It was simple, white and minimal, I had taken this pill that somehow made me stronger --- a pill I called Vitamin Zee.